I'm Married To My Abuser. Now What?


It's no easy task to live in close quarters with an emotional or physical abuser. It is very difficult and painful to bring to the attention of an abuser that they are abusive. An explosive spouse will have you constantly walking on eggshells and living a double life. You're living one life to fool those outside of the home that your relationship is on the right track. Then there's the life of spousal abuse you really live behind closed doors. You just want to have a peaceful life and get away from his anger but where does one go when there are children involved and the home and all finances are inter-connected with each other? There's no easy answer as a bad relationship is not an easy situation.


Many women stay in bad relationships because they don't know how they will support themselves or the kids if they left. If the victims job skills are not in demand and living with parents or relatives are not options, what else is there to do? It really depends on how deep into this bad relationship you are. Some abusers go to great lengths to maintain power and control over someone else.


Over time they will destroy your close familial and social relationships so you no longer have an outlet for help and advice. They may even move you out to a state far away from everything and everyone you ever known so you have no local support system when times get difficult. You may find that your husband will keep the car all day so you can't go anywhere. He may not allow you to work so you keep the kids home also ensuring that you have no money of your own. He may ruin your credit and verbally abuse you to the point where you are convinced that you will not survive if you ever left him.


The truth is that you do have options. There is help for the abuser and the abused but both parties have to figure out a way to somehow get on the same page. If all communication attempts fail, counseling is going nowhere, you have prayed and not been delivered from this grim situation, then divorce is an option. You were able to live and make a way for yourself for decades before you met him. You may just have to start over again. It may be harder this time around since you are older, may have children, and debt you didn't have before, but no one said this would be easy. You are wiser now and the hardest part is taking the first step. You must realize that the situation may not change and it's up to you to seek out help.




He Says He Loves Me


Some abusers have a pattern where they commit the offence then apologize shortly after. Don't fall for it!


Signs to look for in potential domestic violence abusers:


  • excessively jealous
  • uses verbal threats
  • uses playful force during sex
  • is moody and unpredictable
  • has a family history of violence
  • has a poor self image
  • acts out instead of talking
  • makes frequent promises to improve
  • maintains tight control over finances
  • jokes about the violent situations
  • blames others for the abuse
  • wants instant gratification
  • isolates you from friends and family
  • ignores personal boundaries
  • demeaning towards you in front of others




What About Stalkers?


How do I get rid of a stalker? Stalkers recklessly engage in an unwanted course of conduct towards a specific targeted person. Stalking is a crime of unwanted or obsessive attention in a threatening and illegal manner. The stalker can be an ex-boyfriend or even a stranger. This purposeful repeated contact causes the victim substantial emotional and psychological abuse. Stalking victims are often made to feel intimidated and unsafe as they are repeatedly followed and harassed. Protective orders are sought after but often are not enforced by law enforcement only further enraging the stalker and leaving the victim in danger.


Stalking is traumatic and may make you feel like you no longer have control of your life. To build your case against a stalker save evidence such as text messages, voice mails, letters, emails, unwanted gifts, and social media friend requests. Keep a log of the events that take place including times, places, and dates of the incidents that occur.









Breakups to makeups
Does my husband still love me Are marriage vows still sacred

Claim Your Free Extended Preview of "Antoinette : Shattered Dreams" today.



• Witness a woman's Shattered Dreams and the demise of a good girl going bad.

• Explore the mind and psychological make up of domestic abusers and their victims.

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• Antoinette :Shattered Dreams is a fast paced story of love, obsession, and REVENGE!

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